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Best Erma Bombeck Quotes

Erma Bombeck Quotes About Love, Housework, Kids, Aging, God, Inspirational & Marriage! Erma Louise Bombeck is a well-known American humorist known for her syndicated pieces in several newspapers and publications. On February 21, 1927, she was born. Emerson Junior High School was where she went to junior high school in the early 1940s. School newspaper “The Owl” was published for a while. At the time, she had a sarcastic column in that publication. A young Shirley Temple made a trip to Dayton in 1943. Erma interviewed Temple, which was her first significant journalistic job. She worked as a typist, stenographer, and small-time journalist for the Dayton Herald and other organizations, among other responsibilities.

Erma Bombeck Quotes

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Erma continued to work as a part-time employee, taking on a variety of occupations, including column writing for newspapers, public relations for the local YMCA, and pest control accounting for an advertising firm. After graduating, she returned to the Journal-Herald to work as a reporter. Initially, she worked as a columnist for the Kettering-Oakwood Times, contributing weekly articles. For the Dayton Journal Herald, she started writing a pair of weekly comedic essays after a time. In the past, Erma would write three weekly articles titled “At Wit’s End” that would be syndicated throughout the country.

In the beginning, these pieces were written for 36 essential American dailies. As early as 1978, her works appeared weekly in over 900 newspapers. In addition to her job as a writer and columnist. In addition to her job as a writer and columnist. He died on April 22, 1996. Her writing has a rich heritage of her self-deprecating humor in her distinctive and unique manner.

Best Erma Bombeck Quotes

1. I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food – Erma Bombeck

2. Housework can kill you if done right – Erma Bombeck

3. He who laughs … Lasts – Erma Bombeck

4. Never have more children than you have car windows. – Erma Bombeck

5. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. – Erma Bombeck

6. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. – Erma Bombeck

7. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. – Erma Bombeck

8. Never accept a drink from a urologist.” – Erma Bombeck

9. Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide. – Erma Bombeck

10. It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. – Erma Bombeck

11. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

12. My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? – Erma Bombeck

13. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’. – Erma Bombeck

14. Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? – Erma Bombeck

15. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart. – Erma Bombeck

16. There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. – Erma Bombeck

17. There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. – Erma Bombeck

18. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. – Erma Bombeck

19. Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere. – Erma Bombeck

20. The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. – Erma Bombeck

21. When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. – Erma Bombeck

22. Men who have a thirty-six-televised-football-games-a-week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated. – Erma Bombeck

23. All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. – Erma Bombeck

24. You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates – Erma Bombeck

25. Raising a family wasn’t something I put on my resumé, but I have to ask myself, would I apply for the same job again? – Erma Bombeck

26. It is upsetting to many parents that their teen-agers introduce them to their friends as encyclopedia salesmen who are just passing through … if they introduce them at all. I have some acquaintances who hover in dark parking lots, enter church separately and crouch in furnace rooms so their teen-agers will not be accused of having parents. – Erma Bombeck

27. There were really only two men I knew who ever got a laugh out of paying their income taxes. One was cheating the government and getting away with it. The other had a sick sense of humor and would probably have set up a concession stand at the Boston Tea Party and sold sugar cubes and lemon slices. – Erma Bombeck

28. Families aren’t easy to join. They’re like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant. – Erma Bombeck

29. I question the value of name tags as an aid to future identification. I have approached too many people who have spent the entire evening talking to my left bosom. I always have the insane desire to name the other one. – Erma Bombeck

30. Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible. – Erma Bombeck

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