Best George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin Quotes About Government, Death, Stupidity, War, Business, & Stuff! George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, performer, social commentator, and author. He was born on May 12, 1937. “The dean of counterculture comedians” was the moniker given to one of the most prominent and influential stand-up comedians in history. For his dark humor and thoughts on forbidden issues, he was a well-known figure in the world of black comedy.
In 1977, Carlin’s first of his 14 HBO stand-up comedy specials were filmed. His routines began to concentrate on the sociocultural critique of contemporary American culture in the late 1980s and 1990s. He was a frequent critic of American politics and society.
Carlin released brain Droppings in 1997. Among the topics covered in the book was his comic perspective on life, society, and politics. It was on the New York Times best-seller list for 18 weeks at publication.
Carlin had a long and varied acting career that included appearances in films including Outrageous Fortune (1987) and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1990), in which he played Rufus, a time traveler from the future. However, it was a drastic change in tone for him in The Prince of Tides (1991).
In 1987, Carlin received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to recognize his work. Carlin had a lot of success in series television in the 1990s. In addition to his acting, writing, and recording, Carlin toured around 150 times a year. In 2004, he was ranked No. 2 on Comedy Central’s “Top 100 Comics of All Time” list, just ahead of Richard Pryor. In addition, he won the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on June 17, 2008, only 5 days before he passed away.
Best George Carlin Quotes
1. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” -George Carlin
2. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” -George Carlin
3. “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” -George Carlin
4. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” -George Carlin
5. “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” -George Carlin
6. “Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.” -George Carlin
7. “The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.” -George Carlin
8. “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” -George Carlin
9. “Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.” -George Carlin
10. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” -George Carlin
11. “Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away.”-George Carlin
12. “Think off-center.” -George Carlin
13. “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” -George Carlin
14. “I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds.” -George Carlin
15. “Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school.” -George Carlin
16. “Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.”-George Carlin
17. “We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.”-George Carlin
18. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”-George Carlin
19. “When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.”-George Carlin
20. “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”-George Carlin
21. “We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”-George Carlin
22. “The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”-George Carlin
23. “Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.”-George Carlin
24. “Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack.”-George Carlin
25. “When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America you get a front row seat.”-George Carlin
26. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”-George Carlin
27. “I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently, I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”-George Carlin
28. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”-George Carlin
29. “Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?”-George Carlin
30. “How is it possible to have a civil war?”-George Carlin