Best W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields About Life, Love, Education & Death! William Claude Duckenfield, best known professionally as W. C. Fields, was an American juggler and comedian. He is primarily recognized as one of the most influential figures in the history of early American film. He was born on January 29, 1880. In a middle-class family, he grew up and left home when he was 11 years old. He taught himself to juggle and spent countless hours honing his skills until his fingertips were bleeding. While he was 15 years old, he started doing juggling feats at church and theatrical performances.

Performing juggling performances at church and theatrical plays helped him earn money by the time he was 15 years old. “The Eccentric Juggler” was the moniker he gave himself and the juggling performance he constructed, which incorporated tales and a sense of humour.

When he was younger, he would juggle cigar boxes, hats, and other odd things, adding to his appeal as a unique performer. He had established himself as the world’s finest juggler early 1900s, and he was touring the globe to promote his show. He advanced his professional career by participating in Broadway shows before going to cinema roles.

Seen on stage as a difficult misanthropist who could win over his audience despite his hatred for women, children, and pets, his theatrical character was a cynic’s dream come true. As early as the 1930s, he was a major film star. However, the once-great comic became a victim of alcoholism, which ended up jeopardizing both his personal and professional lives. He died on December 25, 1946, because of problems caused by his alcoholism and other factors. Of course, Fields’ long career as a comedian has left a wealth of memorable quotes that are often used nowadays.

Best W. C. Fields Quotes

1. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.-W. C. Fields
2. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.-W. C. Fields
3. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.-W. C. Fields
4. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.-W. C. Fields
5. I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.-W. C. Fields
6. Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.-W. C. Fields
7. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.-W. C. Fields
8. Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.-W. C. Fields
9. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.-W. C. Fields
10. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.-W. C. Fields
11. I like children. If they’re properly cooked.-W. C. Fields
12. A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.-W. C. Fields
13. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.-William Claude Duckenfield
14. No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.-W. C. Fields
15. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.-W. C. Fields
16. Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.-W. C. Fields
17. I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
18. Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!-W. C. Fields
19. Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.-W. C. Fields
20. I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.-W. C. Fields
21. You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.-W. C. Fields
22. The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.-W. C. Fields
23. There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.-W. C. Fields
24. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
25. It is funnier to bend things than to break them.-W. C. Fields
26. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.-W. C. Fields
27. Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again.-W. C. Fields
28. If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.-W. C. Fields
29. I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.-W. C. Fields
30. Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!-W. C. Fields